There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
