I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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