You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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