That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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