Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
