He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
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