the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
