am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
