They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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