I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
