lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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