i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
