I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
