So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
