I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
