There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
