OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
