Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
