how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
