do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize