How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
