I understand Curling. That high.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize