i don't like sucking hair
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
