Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
