I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
