normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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