Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
