I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
