i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I understand Curling. That high.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
