Your tits are I can't wait for
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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