I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize