the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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