An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
