4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
