So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
