So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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