hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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