Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i dont even know how to be here
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
