The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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