I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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