We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
