I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
