I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
