I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
