By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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