Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
