Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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