Ambien. No doubt about it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
