why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
