Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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