So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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