we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How drunk are you?
Completed.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
