the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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