Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
