this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I showed him my bush... on skype.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
