yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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