What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
