How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I want to have your abortion
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
love makes seman taste better
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
