so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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