Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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