Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize