after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
