Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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